Mediation Works
Mediator For Divorce In British Columbia
Are You Thinking About Separation Or Divorce?
Do you want to end your relationship amicably? Don’t want to spend a lot of money on legal fees? Don’t want lawyers involved? Try divorce mediation.
In BC, mediation is often a preferred dispute resolution process to end your relationship. You do not need a judge to order you “legally separated”. Once you and your ex have said the relationship is done, it’s done! You’ll need to agree on a “triggering event and/or date” of when you ended it; that’s for financial purposes.
You and your ex spouse/partner come together in a safe environment and a mediator will walk through all the topics needed to end your relationship. There is no courtroom, no judges, no lawyers; just you, your ex and the mediator. It’s less scary and you and your ex are the leaders and creators of your agreement. There is no judge or lawyer speaking for you or making decisions for you.
Topics Covered In Mediation
Topics covered in mediation can include property division, like bank accounts, credit cards and mortgages. If children are involved, the mediator will cover all areas of parenting, including parenting time for each parent, child support, spousal support and anything else that you may need in your situation. You can agree to add other things too, like a clause that says your ex cannot leave the province with your child or your ex cannot move to another city without your knowledge. Whatever your specific situation is, the mediator can address it.
Once you and your ex have agreed and all required topics are resolved, the mediator draws up a legal document called a Memorandum of Understanding. This document is like a “promise” that you both agree to. It is NOT a court order, but it can then be taken to a lawyer and put into a legal Separation Agreement. The lawyer will use the Memorandum of Understanding to create the Separation Agreement so it meets the legal requirements for banks and/or pension plans, if needed. You can come back to mediation at anytime during your separation to change things or add additional agreements. It flows and changes, just like life!
What Is Divorce & Family Mediation?
Divorce Issues
- In BC, mediation is the preferred process to resolve differences when it comes to ending your marriage or common law relationship. Mediation is effective because it is private, confidential and affordable. According to Mediate BC, in 2016 the average cost of a two day trial was almost $19,000. In comparison, most couples can complete all aspects of divorce within 3 (sometimes less) mediation sessions, averaging a total cost of $1200 - $1500.
- In mediation, there are no lawyers speaking on your behalf nor are there judges making final decisions. You and your ex are the creators and decision makers and you determine what will be in your Agreement. Each family situation is unique and mediators facilitate the discussion and ensure all areas of divorce are addressed, according to the Divorce Act, which is the legislation that covers divorce.
- If you are looking for a legal divorce, you’ll need to see a courtroom for that, as only a judge can Order a divorce. However, if you have mediated all aspects and you and your ex agree on everything, the judge will usually grant the Order the same day. This is because you both consent to the Agreement that was created and there is nothing more to discuss. Less time in the courtroom means less legal fees!
Separation Agreements
- The Family Law Act, which is the piece of legislation that governs separation, says only a family dispute resolution professional can mediate a separation. This designation gives clients confidence that the mediator is trained and qualified.
- A mediator walks you through all aspects of a separation and documents everything you and your ex agree to. The mediator does not give advice or tell you what to do, but rather, you and your ex are the creators and decision makers and so you should be.
- Once all topics have been discussed and agreed to, the mediator will create a document called a Memorandum of Understanding, or MOU. The MOU is only finalized after the two parties have approved it. Once finalized, each party receives a copy of the MOU.
- The MOU can then be taken to a lawyer to be copied into a legal Separation Agreement and filed with the Courts.
Mediation For Couples
- Relationships are very unique and each case is different. Couples may want to enter into a mediation when things have become tense at home and arguments end up damaging the relationship even more. Maybe you don’t really want to separate but you know things have to change and you just don’t know how to have that conversation without hurting the other person.
- Mediation can be helpful because the mediator is neutral and impartial. A third party facilitator listens carefully to each side and tries to pull out the common interests you both have. It is done in a safe environment where language remains respectful, interruptions are limited and the mediator keeps you on task, so you can reach a resolution.
- Once you agree on a resolution, the mediator types up a document called a Memorandum of Understanding. This document reflects what was agreed upon and it is meant to be kept in a safe place where you can refer to it, if necessary. This does not need to be filed with the Courts, so lawyers are not needed.
Child-Parenting Plans
- In BC, there is no more “custody” of a child nor “access” to a child. Those terms have been replaced with “guardianship” and “parenting time”. Guardianship generally refers to the responsibility for children while parenting time refers to the specific responsibilities that guardians have. In addition, “parenting arrangements” include both responsibilities and the amount of parenting time.
- Parenting responsibilities include the day to day decisions affecting the child; where the child will live; whom the child will associate with; education; religion and culture; giving consent to the child if consent is required; etc.
- Parenting time is the time that a child is with a guardian as allocated under an Agreement or Order.
- In mediation, the mediator addresses everything needed for the parenting arrangements and I will document it in a Memorandum of Understanding. This document is fluid, meaning it can change as the children age and become adults, but both parties must approve any changes.
Property Division
- Part 5 of the Family Law Act covers property division and mediators must take the appropriate training to be qualified to address this. Mediate BC lists all Registered Roster Mediators on the website who are qualified. There are many laws that cover property but the general principle is that spouses are equally entitled to family property and equally responsible for family debt.
- The trigger event, or date of separation defines the scope of the property to be divided. Anything before the date of separation, is generally considered to be shared equally between the spouses. After the date of separation, the spouses are considered individuals and will be responsible for expenses on their own.
- The mediator gives legal information regarding property division, but cannot give legal advice, even if they are a lawyer. Mediators must remain neutral and impartial and that allows parties to create something they both agree to.
Work With A Divorce Mediator In British Columbia
What Are The Benefits Of Divorce & Family Mediation?
- Affordable: According to Mediate BC, a two day trial in 2016 cost $19,000 and you just know it has gone up by now! Shirley states most couples, on average, can go through all the topics of separation/divorce within 3 sessions and spend on average $1500, which is generally shared between each party. That’s $750 each!
- Timely: I generally books about two weeks ahead of time and is available online or in-person. There are no scheduling conflicts with lawyers or judges; just you, your ex and Shirley!
- Compassion: I am a Social Worker and a helper! I work hard to treat people with kindness and knows how to listen to all perspectives to build the best plan possible. I do not argue for one side nor does she get caught up in legal terms and technicalities. I really want everyone to reach a respectful resolution and move on with their lives.
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