Mediation Works

Elder Mediation British Columbia

Providing courageous dialogues between elders and their adult children about various topics such as safety in the home, financial issues or worries about mental wellness.
Contact Shirley

Mediation Works

Elder Mediation British Columbia

Providing courageous dialogues between elders and their adult children about various topics such as safety in the home, financial issues or worries about mental wellness.
Contact Us

What Is Elder Care Mediation?

Housing & safety in the home

  • Are you concerned about your elderly parent living in the home? Do you worry they may be unsafe? Allow me to assist your family to ensure all members are heard respectfully and all ideas are explored to help your loved ones.
  • Example: Sally, aged 50 is worried about her parents, Eugene (85) and Margaret (80) living in their current home. There are a lot of stairs and Sally worries that something bad will happen to either one of them. She has tried to have a conversation about it, but Eugene and Margaret insist they are fine and Sally just worries needlessly. Sally doesn’t think her parents are taking this seriously and when she tries to bring it up, her parents laugh it off. Eugene has already sprained an ankle on the stairs and Margaret suffers from vertigo. Sally has valid worries but doesn’t know how to approach it without it turning into another big argument.

Financial issues

  • Is there conflict in your family about how much money is being spent? Are your adult children annoying you about what they think is best for you? Allow me to facilitate those conversations with you in a respectful manner, so your relationships stay strong and healthy.
  • Example: Bob is worried about his father, Joe who is 82. Joe currently has a girlfriend and he is spending a lot of money on her, like taking her on vacations and buying her a car. Bob thinks it is very nice that his father has a companion, but worries that Joe may not understand how all this spending is impacting his own long term finances, like his monthly rent at the retirement home. Joe thinks this is absurd and wonders if Bob just is looking out for his own interests in an inheritance. The relationship between Bob and Joe is deteriorating and neither one of them knows what to do.

Mental wellness

  • Are you currently caring for your parents and are worried that their cognitive abilities are starting to decline? Perhaps you are noticing this decline is impacting their ability to live independently? Allow me to facilitate the courageous conversation in a safe way, so all parties are heard and a plan is made amicably.
  • Example: Anna is worried about her mother, Cecilia, who is 70 but showing signs of memory loss. Cecilia sometimes does not remember where she is going and often has a hard time making it back home while driving. She tends to get confused about what street to turn on and sometimes has had to call Anna to come and get her. Anna is so worried that the memory loss will get worse and she is not sure how to approach this with her mother, as the last thing she wants is for her mother not to call her. Anna is not sure what to do.

Intergenerational Mediator In British Columbia

I am a Registered Social Worker and is very compassionate and kind when facilitating tough conversations within a family. I allow all parties to speak and gently guides the conversation so a resolution can be made and family members can begin to heal and enjoy future gatherings.
Contact Shirley For Mediation

What Are The Benefits Of Hiring An Intergenerational Mediator?

  • Relationships remain strong: the mediator does not take sides, so everyone is heard with respect and dignity.
  • Mediation is not a venue to argue: the mediator guides the conversation towards a resolution and if anyone becomes belligerent or unkind, the mediator will take charge and stop the mediation process. You can try again another day.
  • Mediation is confidential: the mediator cannot repeat anything that was said in the mediation and only the resolution can be shared with others, as long as parties agree.
  • Mediation is timely: most families can schedule a mediation within two weeks of reaching out to Shirley. She is available evenings and weekends, if needed.

How Do You Deal With & Prevent Family Disputes?

  • Healthy relationships within a family are the building blocks to success later in life. If the relationships become damaged or strained within a family, it impacts everyone. Family relationships are linked together, like the chains on a necklace. If one becomes weak or damaged, they all suffer and may not be able to join together.
  • Mediation provides a process where everyone comes together and a neutral trained mediator opens the discussion and allows everyone to speak. Parties may not always agree with each other, but they will understand each other because they are forced to listen, without interruption and it is done with kindness and compassion.
  • Shirley is trained to actively listen for the common threads within the family and to bring forth common interests. This helps keep parties on track so the goal or resolution can be met.
  • Everyone argues and disagreements happen, but if you are worried about damaging your relationship, please call Shirley.

CONTACT

Tell Me How I Can Assist You

Elder Mediation: Frequently Asked Questions

No, only a lawyer or Notary can do that, but you can use a mediator to have the discussion of any changes that need to be made to the Will and any resolution will be documented by the mediator. That document can then be taken to a lawyer/Notary as an addition to the Will.
No, everything that is said in mediation is confidential, unless it involves someone who is wanting to harm themselves or injure someone else. Any elder abuse, such as physical assault, also has to be reported.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, so your conflict may not be resolved in one session. Mediation is a process and often requires more than one discussion. Be patient and kind…a resolution is near!